Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
