I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize