His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
