I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
