Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize