I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
this is an emotional support booty call
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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