I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
