Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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