I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize