sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
