I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
