I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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