Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize