my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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