I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
