i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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