Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?