he puts the penis in happiness.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?