Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?