This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
People in love make me want to vomit
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.