Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
