he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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