Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize