handjob tips. give me some.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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