the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just got carded by a ten year old.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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