break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
