I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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