That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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