i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize