i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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