there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
