We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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