i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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