in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
