I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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