I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
