he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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