There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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