Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She bit a glass in half.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
