And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
