The maid of honor just puked.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
