how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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