Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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