Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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