can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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