before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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