Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
