you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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