I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
