I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
