i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
