Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
