I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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