Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
