Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
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You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
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he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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