Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize