I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
