new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am naked and annoyed.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
