Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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