first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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