I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
